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The Nature of ItWhat I feel goes further than the point where the water meets the sky
Beyond any question of "Why?"
Far across the stars scattered way up high
What is within for you is more beautiful than the colours of the rainbow
Travels passed the sun on the horizon
Is more infinite than the seeds of strife that life can sow
It is grand and strong and joyous such as the thrill of flight
Ingrained and natural has breathing
Mysterious, lovely, calming, yet exciting as the night
It is as complex as calculating the rotation of the Earth
Heart and scent and sight
As simple as knowing, appreciating, and being blessed with all that is your worth
Brought on by imaginary adversaries
And (it seems)
Of emotions that go off on tangents
About what to do
And questions that repeat themselves
Until I collapse in a heap of tears
And crumpled Kleenex
'Cause I scroll down that line of text
And wonder what's next
And how to get these feelings off my chest
And wonder why
Wonderin' what's wrong
Until I realize that *I* am
That my parnoia has gotten the better of me
Getting crazy over friends
(Sometimes over strangers)
But sometimes those feelings are justified
But more often than not they aren't
And our hearts are just playing an insane part
But this is the place where are the craziness starts
For the Ones About the TimesThose moments come along when we think of what could have been
The ones that got away and the ones we pushed away
We justify and testify and still we can't convince ourselves of why
Why is it that we've done what we've done
And repeatative motions and repeatative words are useless
And we remain motionless
Not feeling quite blessed
Even if we are surrounded by happiness
We still feel stressed
We try to hide because we don't think we can survive
Through the lies we tell ourselves and the truths we tell too
'Cause we admit that our tears are futile
But we cry them anyway
Only to let them dry to the sounds of our sobs and our stories of yesterday
We know that part of us wished that they had stayed or that we had stayed
But the past is the past and in the past are things we can't change
Such as hearts and minds that have strayed from the path they once walked
Walked with our own and now we feel we walk all alone
But we aren't on our own and we relate to the tunes of o
No Time for TearsThere's no time for tears
There's too much to do
No time for sad thoughts
Thoughts about you
I'm using time I don't have
To write down these lines
I have no time for tears
I have no will to cry
This Is What Summer IsThis is what summer is
It's hot days
And cool nights
Underneath city lights
And cars crowding streets
The city humming along
With the soundtrack of our sweet summer lives.
rainsunAnd while the rain falls down on us
There's nothing else, there's nothing else
Well, nothing else but a silly notion
Of what was once a childhood emotion
And the little voice that whispers
"It could have been"
And the one that whispers back
"But now it can't"
So I'll lick my lips
As I turn my head away
Hoping you won't catch the desire in my eyes
But almost wishing that you will
And the thoughts that are playing in my head
Will get played out in real time
That you'll tilt your head down to mine
To taste the rain on my mouth
But that's not to be
And I know that too well
'Cause there's all this heat
That the storm we feel can't quell
So I'll move along
Pretending that there's nothing going on
Since that's just the way it's supposed to be
Quick.Stop.Speed.My nervous heart beats ever faster
While my breaths come in too short
Fearful thoughts race through my mind
Speeding by too fast to sort
You cannot fathom what you do to me
I myself find it hard to know
There's so much welling up inside
But my mouth it speaks too slow
I feel I've made a spectacle
I have no idea what words to say
Ideas conflict within myself
I choose wrong and put my stupidity on display
UnsaidThese are the unsaid words of the heart you'll never know
The thoughts and feelings of a love I'll never show
This is one of many attempts to express to you how I feel
The emotions of a broken girl who is just beginning to heal
Here it is laid out for you the things I'll never say
I write them out because I know I'll never let you read them anyway
FeelI feel useless and unpretty
Forgotten and alone
I feel not the least bit happy
I feel lost though I'm at home
I get jealous and unruly
My eyes begin to tear
I whisper words into the dark
That you aren't going to hear
I want to punch a hole right through the wall
I want to kick and scream
I want to hunt down certain girls
And be worse than their most frightful dreams
I am angry and possessive
I am guilty and ashamed
I am living through a lonely hour
And just wish that it would rain
I want the world to cry for me
I want someone to care
I want things back the way they were
But at times I don't mind that you aren't there
There's a million others out in the world
Lots of fish in the sea
But on cold and empty nights I find
I wish that you'll want me.
wishing wells and pumpkin shells
coffee with mint cream
wedding bells and magic spells
life is but a dream
mother says it's rain today
drought's been sixteen years
pigs will fly and cats will stray
seventeen brings tears
hooting owls and leopard prowls
burn the midnight sun
men with jowls eat fattened cows
never had such fun
father says it's time to go
new year's 'round the bend
can't be late for nature's show
fish-face now the trend
dreamer's dream and lover's love
wishing time would fly
blue moonbeam on heaven's dove
hope I never die
I Fell AsleepI fell asleep
In the arms of the enemy.
My worst mistake,
As I let his words get to me.
I left my life
In the hands of a killer.
I trusted my blood
To a man who's a murderer.
I closed my eyes
As he lulled me away.
I loosened my grip
As he began to sway.
I fell asleep
In the arms of the enemy.
I lost my life,
but I lost my life willingly.
Needle of the PineYou're a needle of the pine, my dear -
a poking of the spine, a narrow rod
to gently prod my heart in waters brine.
And when I fall, you pull me tall
to bask in heaven's shrine, for what you are
'tis not sub-par, my needle of the pine.
Without MythologiesWithout Mythologies
If I could, I would make you a raging river,
With angry rapids supplied with rain
So you could always meander, and forever be able to run away
Without contending with myths wrongly interpreted - with pain.
- John K. Samson
We’re watching the sun drown in a lake,
your eyes are far away and you say you wish
you were the wind.
You stretch out your arms like tired old wings,
and say you hope one day the sky
will just swallow you up. In that last sliver
of light, I tell you that you have it all wrong.
You could never be something so invisible as wind,
(It’s cool breathe makes us shiver,)
If I could, I would make you a raging river.
I’d turn your fingertips to salty spray,
your bones to smooth
Your lips would kiss the ocean each day,
your gut would fill with fish and frogs.
Your fidgeting toes never forced still again.
I’d turn your heart into a waterfall,
And last of all I’d make
those rushing waters from your brain,
The real meaning of friendshipFriendship
Kidding around turns into
Remembering painful times
Ignoring the painful truth that lies ahead
Ending all hope
Never finding any good in it
Demanding they be there for you but they never
Seem to keep their promise of staying
Heartache and loneliness always comes at the end
Insightful friends are nothing but a myth
Promises broken and pitying oneself
In MorningThrough a wintry window laced with ice, lie
petrified panes of frosted grass beckoning,
languorously outstretched. A shivering bird’s cry
reaches horizon’s edge—that razor reckoning,
those impossible dimensions—hung like a kite
on a cloud, precipitously balanced between a dull
existence with poking pinpricks the only light,
and the embers of potential, slowly stoking. A lull
unfurls, a quiet eternity uncurling in that predawn
chill, everything faded to silent sepia, frozen
as though this instant is more important, torn
from time and left right where it was chosen
to be. Light spills over and creeps through
fractured, flinty sky turned a clear, unbroken blue.
SanityThe walls of this place were white,
Sanitation and cleanliness were no doubt at play.
Walking through them I search for the light,
Lost forever in this building, searching for the day,
The one where I would no longer be lost.
The rooms were empty,
Not a soul but for the ones at rest.
I wouldn’t say I felt guilty,
But what I had done, I would address,
And realize my action’s cost.
Continuing through these halls,
I can’t help but look at the paint.
I remember the red smears on the walls,
The copper scent lingering still and faint,
Yet luckily those memories I tossed.
I pass on, leaving behind this phenomenon.
I see a shred of the sun’s rays,
And quickly I leave my role of false surgeon.
Behind me the blood of my past lays,
Leaving it to the cold and frost.
Tick TockTick tock goes the clock
It's all a little hazy,
Tick tock she's in shock
The girl that we call Lacey
Little lines cut her neck
But no one wants to see them
All her friends wish she were dead
But no one wants to be them
One or two can make it through
The Hell that she lives in
But nothing that they say is true
So no one can believe it
Her life is just a bunch of rags
There's nothing that can save her
Her breathing comes in heavy drags
Each saying "You Deciever"
Tick tock goes the clock
It's all a little hazy
Tick tock she's a rock
The body we call Lacey
SuicideThe drawback of suicide is
there was a time I did exist.
If only there was a way
to erase all that away.
No-one left to remember me.
I would never want that.
No-one left to miss me.
I wouldn't deserve it anyway.
No-one to wonder why I couldn't stay.
You wouldn't understand the answer.
No-one left to hate me.
To think I was selfish.
No pressure to remain here
just to keep you happy.
If only there was a way.
To erase everything away...
MalfunctionFunctionin need of distraction
mind not at ease
breaths coming short
heart rate increasing
thoughts going nowhere
on keeping from shaking
when will it end
insides are quaking
hearing is sensitive
no one is calling
anger this brings
emotions are plenty
sadness and hate
worry and discomfort
the hour is late
nothing is happening
no one is there
if nothing is wrong here
why should i care
can't do a damned thing
mind is shut down
lip hurts from biting
mouth is a frown
when will the call come
to make this all end
closure and comfort
so i can function again
HomesickI am the river's son,
my arteries flowing turquoise
and turning to rapids
rushing around my frame,
filling me with this sense
of buoyancy, minnows
tickling my sternum.
I am the river's son.
My palms caress each
silty shoreline, every
battered bank and bend,
and these places I know
so well become me
as my fingerprint,
even the bridge above me
inflamed by the afternoon
sun-glow, burning rusty and
the steel blue sky.
I am the river's son;
I bring my home along
like hermit crab,
where I step
I pull water from the earth.
Keep in Touch!
Lilyas has dedicated herself to making our community a brighter place with her vibrant artwork and infectious enthusiasm for interacting with others in our community. It has certainly paid off, as many deviants flock to her page on a daily basis to let her know how much of an inspiration she is. We absolutely agree, and couldn't let all that hard work go without recognition, so it's with great pride that we bestow the Deviousness Award for March 2014, to ... Read More